You Say It’s Your Birthday

15 Jul

Some people say that their birthdays are really no big deal to them. Not me. I think that my birthday should be a national holiday. Ticker-tape parade, fireworks, the whole nine yards. I like to try to drag my birthday out into at least a week-long celebration. The other day that ranks way up there, and is like a second birthday to me, is my sobriety date. In fact, many in recovery consider that date to be their birth day—-the day they came into their new life. So that you have enough time to plan, my sobriety date is May 28, 2012.

My birthday was two days ago (I’ll leave it to you to guess how old I am) and I had a wonderful day. And it’s shaping up to be a fantastic extended celebration. My husband surprised me with an overnight stay-cation at our favorite local hotel. My daughter cooked up an amazing dinner for me, and a few close friends, including my sponsor, joined us to celebrate. Other friends I will get to see for lunch or coffee this week for my prolonged birthday pageant. So thank you for all the well wishes, the flowers, emails, texts and Facebook posts. Very much appreciated. I hope any bank or store closings weren’t too much of an inconvenience for anyone.

We also went to a lovely party this past weekend to celebrate a friend’s 40th birthday. In the past three years, I have pretty much avoided events like this, knowing that I would be surrounded by lots of drinking. I wanted to put on my big girl pants and go to this one. The act didn’t go unnoticed, as the birthday girl told me that it meant a great deal to her that I went. Made me feel good about my decision. When I walked in, I was pretty nervous and was anxiously wringing my hands and fidgeting. My husband went to the bar to get me a mocktail so that I would have something to drink in my hands immediately. While he was at the bar, the husband of one of my dear friends kept me company and helped calm my nerves. It was nice to actually be out and be social for a change. I’ve kept to myself and hunkered down with my family so much during my recovery, it was good to branch out a little.

Things got a little tough for me when the restaurant staff started passing out champagne for the toast, but I moved away from the tray of flutes and my friend went to get me a glass of water to toast with. The evening culminated with an amazing fireworks display celebrating the city of Alexandria’s birthday. I know that they were really for my birthday though.

No one gets to choose their birth date, but we can certainly choose our sobriety date. It’s the day when we vow to stop drinking. The day we decide to turn our life around. The day we wave the white flag and sometimes fall to our knees begging for help. Each day sober after that date is a miracle and something to be celebrated. That’s why I count my days. 1,144 to be exact. 1,144 days without a drop of alcohol. Some days are easy, and some days are brutally difficult. In a way, every one of those days is like a birth day for me. It’s a day that I gain strength from my sobriety and grow in a way I wouldn’t if I continued to be stifled by my drinking.

Only 316 more days to go until I hit 4 years and get that shiny coin. When I struggle and doubt myself and fear I can’t make it, I’ll try to remember the new person I gave birth to that day in NYC when gave up alcohol for good and finally ripped off the bandage. And those 316 days can only be done one way——one day at a time.

Birthday, celebration of life.
Celebrate who you are.
Celebrate your uniqueness.
Celebrate your achievement.
Celebrate all that you are capable of becoming.”
― Lailah Gifty Akita, Beautiful Quotes

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7 Responses to “You Say It’s Your Birthday”

  1. Carin July 15, 2015 at 2:50 pm #

    Bravo sober mom! Bravo!

    • Joan Vazakas July 15, 2015 at 3:34 pm #

      My wonderful daughter! I’m so proud of you! The best day of my life was when YOU came into it! I have no doubt that you will keep up the good work. Much love, Mom

  2. earth-school July 15, 2015 at 10:13 pm #

    Very nice rockstar!

    Sent from my iPad

    >

  3. Bob Hisel July 16, 2015 at 9:23 am #

    I went to a birthday party last year and had my coke manually replaced with a flute of champagne by a well meaning friend of the honoree. I held it briefly, if uncomfortably, then walked over to my wife at another table and said, ” I think this is yours”. I completed the actual toasts with an empty hand and no one, absolutely no one, noticed.
    I always enjoy your commentary………………………..Bob Hisel

  4. hollybertone July 16, 2015 at 10:02 am #

    Happy birthday hugs my friend. XOXO

  5. Jennifer Costanzo July 17, 2015 at 12:13 am #

    You my friend are amazing! You are a strong beautiful amazing friend and I am ever so proud of you!
    Lots of love and continued support!
    Xoxo

  6. Christy July 17, 2015 at 5:29 pm #

    Way to go AG! I love how we celebrate your sobriety date with parades, balloons, concerts and fanfare. I also love how we celebrate your belly button birthday with parades, balloons, concerts, fanfare and gifts! Your enthusiasm just endears me so much more than I already am where you are concerned! You are a winner Dual Birthday’s a year sober lady. So proud you make me!

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