A Father’s Perspective

18 Jun

 

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads out there. I am very fortunate to have a wonderful father and to have had the opportunity to speak with him this morning.

For my kids’ father, I decided a good present would be to de-clutter and clean our bedroom, which was starting to look more like a storage room. It’s nice to be able to actually walk around the bed now.

I spoke to another father this weekend who shared that he was also working on his sobriety and that he had recommended my book to a woman he met who was really struggling. I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation, as it’s not often that I get the male perspective on struggling to stay sober. We talked at length about the fact that our children are at that age where they are forced to make some tough decisions about drinking and partying. We shared that we had both talked to our kids and explained to them that they may be predisposed to alcoholism, having alcoholic parents.   They need to think extra hard before picking up a drink. We can do our best to teach them, be open and honest with them, but ultimately, they will be the ones to make the choice.

The father also shared that his mother was an alcoholic, in recovery for 28 years, and went back out when she stopped going to meetings. Hearing things like that scare the crap out of me but they also make me more diligent about working hard at my recovery program.

So on a day when we honor our fathers, I reflect about my relationship with my own father.   With regard to my sobriety, my father shared with me that he was in denial about my alcoholism until he read my book, which was published nearly four years after I got sober. I guess I would have a hard time too accepting it if I found out one of my children suffered from the disease.   But I also realize how much power I hold —the ability to break the vicious cycle. Hence, my openness about my alcoholism. With the awareness and the work, the disease can be kept at bay.   Don’t get me wrong, once you’re a pickle you can’t go back to being a cucumber, but you can successfully battle alcoholism.

A special prayer to those of you who lost your fathers. I’m reminded today to count my blessings and to be grateful to be spending another Father’s Day sober.

“Being a role model is the most powerful form of educating…too often fathers neglect it because they get so caught up in making a living they forget to make a life.”  John Wooden

 

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One Response to “A Father’s Perspective”

  1. Christy June 20, 2017 at 8:38 am #

    Wonderful tribute to fathers everywhere AG. You mention how important that role is. I love the part about your own father and how he couldn’t except that you were an alcoholic until he read your book. Sobrietease. Your own dad learned just how hard it was and also hard to overcome. He got to read your struggle and read your triumphs. Your book is helping many alcoholics get and stay sober I applaud you!

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